First day back to school from spring break I thought would be rough for these two but they were way too hyper for me on a Monday morning. On any morning for that matter. I loved that they were having such an easy time with getting back into routines while mommy was having so much trouble.
They both still had some leftover red and blue nail polish on their fingernails going to school today from spring break fun with daddy. In our after school talks today Conner informed me that one of the girls told him that only girls can paint their fingernails because that's the law of Jesus and Connor said he told her that that was crazy and didn't make any sense and he liked it so he was going to do it. And Caiden said a boy called them girls and he told him I'm a boy and I don't care what you say.
Let me just say the emotion and pride that welled up in my chest was explosive. I held in the tears until I could escape to "go to the bathroom" and process the array of emotions that came barreling out. In the midst of all the shit storms and personal growth we are going through to have a moment to see my 7 year olds knowing their voice and using it, I can't put in words how that feels. How is it they are doing what I didn't know how to do or learn to do until I was well into my 20's. A sign to me that they are watching us. A reminder it's okay. Everything may look and feel devastating right now, fragile, unknowing but they are okay. You're doing okay. Just keep going. Proud, proud, proud of my little men and feeling a sudden surge of power and encouraging to keep on warrioring. Because the freedom for them to break boxes, explore, know their voice, love themselves, and not be dictated physically or mentally by what others say to them or about them is all my heart yearns and wants to lead an example of for them.